Creative Loafing With Geek Toys

Around the office, we call it "low-budget entertainment". Relieving the mind-mulching tedium of office work by playing with something. It can be low-tech, too. You can make a rubber-band and paper-clip boxing ring on top of an empty ink-cartridge box, fold two orgami men from notepad paper, and set them up inside the ring for a blue. You think that's silly, but some bored cubicle critter reading this at work just scurried off to have a go at it. Well, when you've read the whole Internet and you've run out of ways to fold a Post-It into a paper airplane (there's another one!), here's a list of slightly more expensive toys for the tech-gadget player.

Internet Radio

It's all the rage. With an existing wireless broadband network, you set this box on your desk, plug it in, turn it on, and use it just like a standard radio. The only difference is, it pulls in somewhere around 10,000 stations from around the world. Some of these models have a clock built in; all of them will be Wi-Fi enabled.

Remote Controlled Golf Ball

Now, what office hasn't had the golf fan practice-putting into a glass? They're making these remote-controlled golf balls now, and they're silent and smooth running and controllable from a sneaky little handheld. We'd get in trouble with this until somebody took it away. You can show up your boss, freak out your secretary, flip the motion detectors on the doors to drive the guards crazy, seal it in a box and leave it on a desk and have it thump around when your cube-mate comes back, play with the cat... We get searched at the door when we come to work now.

Wireless Weather Station

Now, granted, these have a practical use, if you're stuck somewhere with no broadcast media in your immediate vicinity. But consider the entertainment value as well. Mounted on top of any outdoor object, it measures wind direction, temperature, humidity, air pressure, and rain, but it looks like Marvin the Martian's death ray. The indoor display unit can go in your cubicle so you can tell if it's raining without wasting all those extra calories turning your head to look out the window. And when somebody asks "Why don't you just check the Internet or the TV for the weather report?", you can snarl and hiss "I don't trust those buggers! They're all part of The Conspiracy!"

Roll-up USB Piano or Drum Kit

You can show up the bloke who bought the Internet radio with these. Yes, they actually make them, as kind of a logical extension from the idea of the roll-up keyboard. With the USB connector and anything that plays sound such as a PDA, you could carry your whole band's equipment around in your pocket. Won't your co-workers in the lunchroom be glad you though of it?

USB Controlled Missile Launcher

This is the toy you see everywhere, with foam missiles and an air-powered launcher that pivots about and shoots on command. Right, then, some toys are just too silly to play silly. So we've thought about this one over coffee... too much coffee... and decided that the best way to use this is to play it serious. Pretend that you actually consider that these missiles are deadly, then feign amazement when they don't actually kill. Use your best Dr. No voice while chortling over your plans for world domination. Mount a laser-pointer on the unit so you can use it to aim. We just keep ours aimed at the door and fire it with a single hot-key reserved for this purpose, as a way to gently hint to our co-workers that yes, in fact, you did interrupt us while we were doing something important.

USB Digital Microscope Camera

The fun in this kind of gadget comes less from using it than just having it on your desk. Your office mates will be absolutely flabbergasted that you actually need to own one. Insist that this is the case; it is required to fulfill your work duties. Then use it to find out what kind of microbes you picked up in the office cafeteria, reverse-engineer RFID tags, and identify by fingerprint who it is that took the last cup of coffee without making a new pot (There's one in any office. It's the law.). You can also use it to take pictures of anything you want to have appear very large before you post it on the Internet. That's all we said.

Filed Under: Featured • The Retro Stylez, Toyz